This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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