Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
