Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize