i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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