How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
