if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
