guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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