hotel room ftw
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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