Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
