We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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