eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
