We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
