chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
did i just pee glitter
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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