Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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