We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
