So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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