What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
