what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
