It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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