Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
