he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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