they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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