you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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