Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
