I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize