Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
