he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
