Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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