i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
