one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
