My hand turned me down
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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