I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
