i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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