I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
