I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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