i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
