mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
