pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize