I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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