Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
