isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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