I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
