No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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