I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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