Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am available for nakedness
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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