Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
