just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
