You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize