It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
