That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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