i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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