Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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