shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
