apparently the secret to your success is patron
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
