Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
