all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
