seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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