One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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