Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
