This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
