Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
