You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
