I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
