Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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