Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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