My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
