I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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