So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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