I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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