i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
