Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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