she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
