do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
