Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
