New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
