He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
