And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
