dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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