South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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