ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
