If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
