Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize