could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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