literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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